When my boys were born, I felt an instant onus, a responsibility, a whole lifetime of putting someone else first. I never realised how constantly your brain and your heart works, worrying too much and caring enough that everything in their lives is as perfect as you expect it to be. I never knew either that as they get older, it doesn't get any easier.
As babies, it's the practicalities that keep us going. Day to day, feeding, changing, burping, washing, comforting, teaching. As they grow into toddlers, trying to hold back as they teeter, bumping into furniture. Starting school and the helpless feeling that you can't be there for them, hoping that they don't go unnoticed, that they'll make friends and behave.
Then they reach secondary school................
Your role as a mother is less clear. After years of solving their problems, of keeping a smile on their faces, of taking responsibility for the person they are to become you realise that they are becoming that person. And while they use all the information you've been passing on since they were born and they began to know who they are, you're left confused as to where you fit in. When they were younger, your intervention was welcomed and expected. But then they reach an age when they want to fight their own battles, no matter who much you feel you should get involved. Now it's their decision to fight their corner or to walk away. It's up to them to make sure they're not overlooked. They need to pick themselves up and brush themselves off when they trip up.
The growing doesn't stop..........
Finishing school, starting relationships, going out on the town, leaving home, starting families. As they go on, they feel themselves moving away from you, metaphorically. The expression is "cutting the apron strings" and they may see it that way, but they don't realise that it's only one-sided. As mothers, we still see them being as vunerable as they were new-born. We still wish we could fight their battles, make their decisions. But all the while, we're proud of the men they are becoming. Proud that they've learned who to be. Proud they're making the right decisions. And we should also be proud of what we've done, proud of the work we've put in and ready to let it go.
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
My first tag (ARGH!) and I'm feeling the heat of the Spanish Inquisition with these probing questions from Nickie at Typecast. Please be gentle with me!
1. Who is the most pointless celebrity, and why?
I could be predictable and go with the obvious.. but instead I'll go for Jeremy Kyle, who I hate ever-so-slightly more than Jeremy Vine (it's not a Jeremy thing... I heart Jeremy Beadle!). JK is a fungus who breeds on the greasy hair and missing teeth of his unfortunate "guests".
2. If you had to take a random item to an interview to help describe you, what would it be?
An armadillo - crunchy on the outside, smooth on the inside.
3. What is your favourite cartoon?
Tom and Jerry - reminds me of my dad. And who doesn't love mindless violence between a cat, a mouse and sometimes a dog!
4. If you could only listen to three pieces of music for the rest of your life, what would they be?
Sabre Dance - Aram Khachaturian - wonderfully uplifting and my favourite ever classical piece.
In The Arms Of an Angel - Sarah McLaughlin - magical, beautiful and always makes me cry.
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - because sometimes only dancing will do.
5. What film would you have liked a starring role in?
I'm not too keen on the idea of me on a 40ft screen, so I think I would have liked to have been a toy on Toy Story. Maybe Cynical Cindy?
6. What, if anything, do you wear in bed?
Nothing... unless it's cold, then I wear Paul.
7. Favourite item of footwear?
Yet another of my secret shames, but it has to be Crocs.... I don't know what I wore in the summertime before them. Please don't judge me.........
8. Look over your right shoulder. What do you see?
Our bookcase, which holds many DVD's and video games, but very few books. Also, on the wall, is my favourite family portrait, taken Christmas 2008.
9. If you were a flavour of crisp, which flavour would you be and why?
Prawn cocktail, because you either love me or you hate me. If you love me, you'll always love me, though you can only take some much at one time. If you hate me, you'll always hate me and never be able to tolerate me.
10. Twitter or Facebook?
Always Twitter... but gotta stick with Facebook because the people I care about live there.
Now here's what I'd like to know...
- How many houses have you lived in and where?
- PC or Mac?
- Who's poster did you have pinned up on your teenage bedroom wall?
- What was the last book you read?
- What smell reminds you most of your childhood?
- Describe an ideal summer's day.
- What cocktail/alcoholic drink says the most about you?
- If you were reincarnated as an animal, what animal would it be?
- Have you found your one, true love?
- BBC3 or BBC4?
Hope I did good here and may be asked back to play again!
I shall be sticking my foot in the door and demanding answers of the following:
Kelly @ Kelly Brett
Rebecca @ Ramblings of a Rusty Writer
Jen @ The King and Eye
Andy @ Captincroc
Jon @ Just A Typical Dad
Give it a go.... I have!